How do you quit a bad habit without relying on willpower?

Replace, don't just resist

Pairing the habit you're breaking with a competing behavior is the idea at the heart of Habit Reversal Training, which a meta-analysis of 18 studies found effective for repetitive habits like nail biting and thumb sucking, as well as tics (Bate et al. 2011).

Naming what you'll move toward may help too. In one large study of New Year's resolutions, people whose goals were about doing something reported more success a year later than people whose goals were about stopping something (Oscarsson et al. 2020). So give "Scrolling in bed" a partner: "Read ten pages instead."

Plan for the moment

Decide ahead of time what you'll do when the trigger comes: "If I reach for my phone in bed, I'll put it on the charger across the room." If-then plans like this measurably improve follow-through, and a plan for the obstacle helps you keep going (Gollwitzer; Sniehotta).

Let the urge pass

Instead of fighting an urge, you can notice it with curiosity and let it rise and fall. That is the approach of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is backed by a meta-analysis of 39 randomized trials (A-Tjak et al. 2015). In one study of chocolate cravings, accepting the craving rather than trying to control it helped the people most drawn to food, while those least drawn to it reported stronger cravings (Forman et al. 2007). Urge surfing, a technique from Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention, puts it into practice (Bowen et al. 2009). The point isn't that urges are irresistible; it's that you can have one without acting on it.

A lapse is not a relapse

One slip doesn't undo your progress. Reading a slip as proof you can't change is what can turn a lapse into a relapse (Marlatt and Gordon; Bouton 2000).

In Rewarding Habits

What the app does

A quit habit holds a pact about who you're becoming, your triggers, what you'll do instead, and an optional cost. When an urge hits, Surf the Urge gives you a 10-minute timer to ride it out, and a private, on-device coach to talk it through. If a conversation signals crisis, the coach points to real help. Tell the coach about a slip and it treats it as a lapse, one moment rather than a pattern, then helps with your next step. Your first quit habit is free, with no time limit.

On supported Android phones, coaching uses Gemini Nano, Google's on-device AI model; on other Android phones it uses guidance built into the app. On iPhone and iPad, coaching comes from rules and pre-written messages built into the app, with no AI model.

Sources

• Bate, K. et al. (2011). Habit Reversal Training meta-analysis (d 0.80).
• Oscarsson, M. et al. (2020). Approach vs. avoidance goals (N=1,066, one-year follow-up).
• Gollwitzer, P.; Sniehotta, F. et al. Implementation and coping planning (94 tests, d 0.65).
• A-Tjak, J. et al. (2015). Meta-analysis of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (39 RCTs).
• Forman, E. et al. (2007). A comparison of acceptance- and control-based strategies for coping with food cravings: an analog study. Behaviour Research and Therapy.
• Bowen, S. et al. (2009). Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention; urge surfing.
• Marlatt, G. & Gordon, J.; Bouton, M. (2000). Relapse prevention; lapse vs. relapse.

Rewarding Habits is a skill-building app informed by psychological science. It isn't therapy or a crisis service. If you're struggling, please reach out to a professional. In a crisis in the US, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Every source above is also on our science page, with more of the research behind the app.